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The Santa Clause Guest List

Will Lie is the senior partner in the firm of Lie, Cheat & Steal. Rumor has it that he will be announcing his retirement and his replacement at the Holiday Party.

Constance Cheat made full partner in the firm two years ago. Speculation runs rampant on how she achieved that feat. When Mr. Lie announced that Constance was coming on board as a full partner, he stated that it was for her large, influential clientele. That may be true. Her father is Senator Earl E. Bird. Constance is married to a younger man named Igotta, whom she refers to as her boy toy.

Seymour Steal has been a partner with the firm for sixteen years. He was a staunch family man, until a few years ago, when he hit mid life crisis. He bought a red convertible, rented a bachelor pad, starting hanging out in pubs and chasing skirts. He was still surprised when his wife, Enid A. Drink, divorced him.

Enid A. Drink is ex-wife to partner, Seymour Steal. Enid was a dutiful housewife until her hubby had a mid-life crisis. She refers to her ex as "The Toad". Enid likes a little nip now and then. Since her divorce, it has been rumored that she has been collecting Voodoo Relics and even has a six-foot snake!

Shamus Steal is the son of Seymour Steal. Shamus was going to college to become a lawyer when his dad wigged out. After his mother and father divorced, Shamus changed from corporate law, to representing environmentalists and animal rights activists, usually opposing his father's clients.

Inspector Ness is here to investigate the death of Mr. A. Big Scam, whose body was discovered two days ago wearing a Santa suit and stuffed up his chimney.

Ben DeToy could be next in line to become partner now that Mr. Scam is dead. He is a brilliant lawyer, but does tend to step on toes. His good looks and numerous office flings are regularly discussed around the water cooler.

Marsha Mellow is a pharmaceutical magnate who owns Vale Drugs, one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the U.S. The law firm represents the company's interests.

Gabby Gossip is the gossip columnist for the Dirty Daily. Gabby just loves her work. In her opinion, there is nothing better than digging up and dishing out the dirt.

Mary Christmas is a receptionist for the firm. Not the brightest bulb in the office, but Mary is always happy and upbeat. This perky ray of sunshine has been seen after work in the company of Ben DeToy. With Ben's reputation, it is assumed that they she is his latest office casualty.

Senator Earl E. Bird is a good friend to Will Lie. They have a mutually beneficial relationship. It was through the Senator that Will met Constance Cheat, before asking her to become a partner in the firm.

Mambo Phillipa Macumba is a Voodoo High Priestess visiting from Haiti. She is considered a very holy woman in her country.

Bonnie Bolin works for the CDC (Center for Disease Control), and her husband, Brian, is a Virologist and one of the recently kidnapped scientists.

Chip Shoulder owned The Greasy Spoon before it was shut down due to a serious e-coli outbreak. Chip only did six months in jail. His defending lawyer was Seymour Steal. They say Chip isn't happy about that six-month sentence!

Keene Whistleblower is an FDA (Food and Drug Administration) Inspector.

Badger Nutkins? No one knows why this strange man, with this strange name is here.

Igotta Cheat is Constance Cheat's husband. Last year, Constance went to France on Holiday and came back married to him. Igotta gets upset when Constance calls him her boy toy, but she just laughs it off. Igotta's father is one of three scientists that mysteriously disappeared three months ago.

Barbie Dahl-Scam is the widow of A. Big Scam. Barbie was an aspiring actress when she met her husband.

Justin Case is the State Attorney General. He is one of Constance Cheat's clients. Justin makes sure the Firm gets all the state lawsuits. That tobacco lawsuit last year put almost $27 million into the Firm's account!

Sue Yu is the 'Ambulance Chaser' in the Firm. At least that is what people call her behind her back. She will take on almost any lawsuit, no matter how frivolous. The thing about Sue is that she wins almost every case!

Chris Mass is a Private Investigator. No one knows exactly what a PI is doing here.